Considering the fact that I have yet to see any of the movies nominated for an Academy Award this year, the time I spent last night watching the presentation of said awards seems, in retrospect, pointless. It was the first time I’ve actually tuned in at all in at least 10 years or more — about the same time I gave up going to a theater to see a movie, being a parent of two young kids. I really wasn’t watching last night — the show was mostly background noise, interspersed with moments of me chuckling at something Billy Crystal was saying or doing. Which granted, isn’t much, but seeing as how I punted on The Walking Dead, and Daytona was underwater, what else was there to do?
I watched about an hour, which – fortunately for me – was just long enough to catch a trailer for the upcoming premiere of Ashley Judd’s new show, Missing. I don’t care if it’s any good. Any time I get to spend the better part of an hour watching Ashley Judd is a win in my book. I don’t even have to like the movie, as long as she’s in it. Why else would I sit through the agony that is The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood?
Anyway, I tuned in long enough to see the following:
- Octavia Spencer win for Best Supporting Actress (The Help). Didn’t see the movie (and won’t), but I was glad to see a first-time nominee win, then display absolutely no pretense of Hollywood when she accepted. She was thrilled, and it was fun to see.
- Billy Crystal, still able to make me laugh – and even be a little prickly as the host.
- Chris Rock reminding everyone that there’s still a racial divide in Hollywood.
- Christopher Plummer win for Best Supporting Actor (Beginners). Dude’s 82. Good on him.
- Jennifer Lopez in that dress. Ok, the woman is hot and gets better looking every year.
Yes, the dress was damn sexy. But was it really “daring,” “shocking,” “plunging”? Come on, it was a dress. And no, she didn’t have a wardrobe malfunction. We just wanted her to. You’ll notice I haven’t said a word about the woman who was onstage with her, Cameron Diaz, the one with a mouth like The Joker. - Sandra Bullock speaking fluent German for no discernible reason whatsoever.
- Christian Bale speaking in his natural (that is, British) accent. This is Batman?
- Gwyneth Paltrow. Words fail. Just look.
Phillip Thompson 
